Lover's token
Nov. 12th, 2014 07:04![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
torquill[formerly filtered to c]
I have a shirt that smells like Akien.
I don't have it as a trophy, or so that I can take a hit off it to renew the happy bubbly NRE. I'm very deeply in love, yes, but I maintain that this isn't my usual NRE. The giddiness just isn't there. I'm happy, sometimes very much so, but I don't need a reminder of how he smells to stoke that.
I keep it, next to my pillow, for those moments when I need a reminder of what's real. For when I wake up in my empty bed and cry because I can't ignore my loneliness anymore, and it gives me something to hold, even if it's only a shirt. For the times I'm staring off into the dark and all my memories feel like dreams, and I can't really believe he's not just another one.
It's an anchor, and a promise that I'll see him again soon. Because as detailed as the people who live in my head sometimes get, I rarely know their scent, and none of them can provide a tangible bundle of fabric that smells like someone other than me.
I have a shirt that smells like Akien.
I don't have it as a trophy, or so that I can take a hit off it to renew the happy bubbly NRE. I'm very deeply in love, yes, but I maintain that this isn't my usual NRE. The giddiness just isn't there. I'm happy, sometimes very much so, but I don't need a reminder of how he smells to stoke that.
I keep it, next to my pillow, for those moments when I need a reminder of what's real. For when I wake up in my empty bed and cry because I can't ignore my loneliness anymore, and it gives me something to hold, even if it's only a shirt. For the times I'm staring off into the dark and all my memories feel like dreams, and I can't really believe he's not just another one.
It's an anchor, and a promise that I'll see him again soon. Because as detailed as the people who live in my head sometimes get, I rarely know their scent, and none of them can provide a tangible bundle of fabric that smells like someone other than me.