torquill: Art-deco cougar face (Default)
I dreamt that someone was foolish enough to plan a Weeping Angels wedding, and just as the Angels were about to descend on the wedding party, the Doctor (or someone dressed up as him) made an entrance with his companion to save the day, using some kind of video technology that would provide a constant live feed of the Angels to the internet's billion sets of eyes.

I dreamt that he had had a premonition of one of his companions as a member of the undead, with blackened eyes and mouth and pale as a sheet otherwise, and that it worried him all through the process of catching an alien with a Big Gun who was rampaging around -- and then, after capturing the gun and getting it to blow itself to pieces, he looked up from where he was sprawled across the rubble and saw his companion, who had been much closer to the explosion, with black soot all over her eyes and mouth, and concrete dust on the rest. She opened her eyes wide at him and laughed at his expression.

Those were much more cheerful than the dream about watching the bizarrely-colored pillar of flame and smoke rising from a vessel (oceangoing? Maybe an aircraft carrier?) on the other side of the Willow Pass hills, which changed hue as the fire moved from one tank of exotic fuel to another; when we started to hear pop-pop-pop we knew it had moved to the armory, and it was only a matter of time before the big ordnance started to go off.
torquill: Art-deco cougar face (Default)
I decided that I was going to get on the bike today if at all possible.

Adventures and gaming )
torquill: Sarah Jane Smith walking away from the TARDIS, forlorn (Sarah Jane)
This is probably going to get reposted to Tumblr, because it's personal-political.

A Chronic Fatigue/ME rally as a watershed moment )
torquill: Sarah Jane Smith walking away from the TARDIS, forlorn (Sarah Jane)
The trouble with getting involved in social justice is that you start to learn the scripts that people use.

Self-development and its impact on relationships )
torquill: Art-deco cougar face (Default)
So yesterday was a good-bad kind of day. Lots of amplitude.

The good, the bad, and the iunno )
torquill: Doctor Wilson, thoughtful (wilson)
Okay, a general health update.

Mostly good )
torquill: The magician Howl (happy things)
This was the kind of day I keep wanting to have. I pretty much Did All The Things. My to-do list isn't comprehensive, but I:

- Fed myself three times (yay)
- Took all necessary meds
- Hard-boiled some eggs
- Took out the trash in the living room and bedroom
- Deposited a couple of checks
- Wrote a check for my Master Gardener dues
- Mailed it
- Sent out a reminder about the next MG workshop (on time!)
- Answered an email from East Bay Burners
- Called Social Security and spent an hour on hold
- Called Broadway Terrace Nursery to thank them
- Called UC Santa Cruz to update my alumnus info
- Watered the plants in the front yard
- Picked some nectarines (I need to clear the tree tomorrow)
- Dropped some at the horse-owner's house
- Got a bag of alfalfa pellets from the feed store
- Got a replacement bathroom light switch
- Cut a piece of gutter and put ends on it
- Set the maple pieces to soak in the gutter-tray
- Installed MS Office on my VM
- Installed Crescendo
- Installed SketchUp
- Filled out a LARP application
- Fixed up my bike
- Made a DIY phone mount for the bike
- Installed Pokemon Go and got it set up
- Went out on the bike for 15 minutes (oh my thighs)

I still want to do a few minutes of voice work, but I think I can rest for the remainder of the evening and feel virtuous.
torquill: Tea cures all ills (tea)
How is it that simply calling the Social Security Administration to make an appointment is enough to make me feel like crap?

Don't answer that. I know the reason... I still haven't expunged the creeping feeling that by applying for permanent disability I'm giving up and admitting failure. It doesn't matter that asking me to work a 40-hour week is equivalent to asking a paraplegic to dance a waltz -- the conditioning I've had my whole life, around work ethics and capabilities and what makes a person worthwhile, is all acting like a horrible swamp full of trash that sucks at my self esteem.

I deserve to be able to live without trading my health for money. The fact that I'm reliant on others is not through any fault of mine, and I shouldn't be ashamed of it. Most people don't have a full-time job of just keeping their bodies going.

I'll keep saying these things to myself, and maybe I won't be a complete wreck by the time my appointment comes around. If I am, well, my therapy appointment is that afternoon. We'll see on August 2.
torquill: Tea cures all ills (tea)
I thought I was past this.

Finding that not all the land mines have been defused )
torquill: Art-deco cougar face (Default)
I can't usually write sonnets. Perhaps it's because I just pulled an all-nighter.

Read more... )
torquill: Tea cures all ills (tea)
Dreams full of sorrow and strife. Sigh.

Love and loss )

Shutting down a racist )
torquill: Doctor Wilson, thoughtful (wilson)
I told my therapist that I've had a lifetime of falling through the cracks, of not fitting into any of the boxes. Forever a square peg. )
torquill: Art-deco cougar face (Default)
My brain decided to do Shakespeare last night.

It was a modernized version, but it seemed to capture the right tone. I dreamt that there were two brothers, living in a mansion together. The elder pointed out to the younger that the hand-woven rug that was made for the younger's birth was ragged and worn; the younger agreed, and suggested retiring it and getting a new one to serve as the rug in the entrance hall.

The older suggested that it was a good idea -- that, in fact, perhaps the younger should trade it for a sleeping mat, since both are made to lie on the floor and a bedroll would be of more use to him while sleeping homeless. It was a pretty transparent "GTFO" message.

When the younger asked why the elder was kicking him out of the house, the elder shrugged and said that he already employed four useless men -- in my dream, they were men he kept around to play basketball against on his private half-court, and he went into great detail describing their shortfalls, like the one who had huge hands which were nevertheless as soft as pillows and couldn't hang on to the ball. He said that if he was supporting four such useless men already, what reason did he have to support his brother as well, who did even less to earn his keep?

This strikes me as exactly the tone Shakespeare would have used to establish that the elder brother was an asshole.
torquill: Doctor Wilson, thoughtful (wilson)
health update )
torquill: Tea cures all ills (tea)
Tomorrow marks four weeks since my shot, and I'm still in the thick of it.

Fun with hormone dysregulation )
torquill: Coveralls with the patches "Henry's Garage" and "Forensics" (henry)
If I don't unload my project-brain, I'm going to have trouble sleeping, and I'm not wired enough to pull a Tony Stark right now. Besides, I have stuff to do tomorrow. So...

The story so far )
torquill: A sweet potato flower (gardening)
The cucumbers and regular basil have gone in -- the lemon cukes are seeds, but the Armenian and Cool Breeze are small transplants.

One thing I learned over the last couple of years is that proper timing is really important. I used to plant my peppers too early, which is why they never thrived -- they simply didn't recover from the chill, and stayed stunted all season. Conversely, last year I planted my tomatoes too late, and a third of them died from Fusarium when they were too young to bounce back (while the peppers tried to take over).

So this year I'm separating things out -- tomatoes first, while the soil is cool, along with the squash, beans, and some flowers. Then the tomatillos. Now I've got the cukes and basil in, and I'll hold off for a little longer before I put in the peppers, melons, and Thai basil. Finally, the hot weather stuff -- the sweet potatoes and okra -- will take up the rear. If I've done it right, nothing will stunt, and I'm going to finish off by Memorial Day so that (hopefully) nothing will fry either.

As the garden gets larger, this also makes planting less of an all-day push. I can go out and spend a half-hour putting cucumber seedlings in, then it's another week before I have to plant anything else. As long as I have the bandwidth to track the weather and what still remains to be planted, it works really well.

I'm trying to allow the celery and parsley to go to seed... the last pepper will have to share some root space with the parsley, but the Thai basil still isn't even showing in its pot yet (there's celery in its spot) and the other celery plants are shading the young tomato starts. So I think it'll work out.
torquill: A sweet potato flower (gardening)
You really do see everything in this job. Tomatoes are my crop of choice: they give clear signals of illness or health, their requirements are pretty simple and easy, and the results are really very rewarding. So I've seen a lot of things happen with tomatoes, and I understand how they function in most situations.

I got sent some pictures today by the help desk, which has been stumped for a week by a diagnosis problem. I did have a reply, but only after my eyebrows hit my hairline. I'd never seen edema on tomatoes before -- technically, just about any dicot can get it, but while I've encountered it on a host of plants (citrus is particularly prone) this is a first for me. Edema presents differently on every plant, but if a tomato were to get it, I can believe that's what it would look like.

It wasn't just the lumpy stems that looked like they were ready to sprout adventitious roots across 75% of their surfaces (but no roots were growing). It was the combination of cold rain (thus wet conditions) alternating with bright hot sun *and* a fertilizing regime of 19-19-19 every two weeks. Bingo!

On the plus side, they'll be fine, as long as the gardener lays off for a while. It's left me shaking my head, though... I guess now I know what it takes to spur widespread edema lesions on tomatoes.


torquill: Art-deco cougar face (Default)

November 2016



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