Still catching my breath
Nov. 8th, 2015 20:40![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
torquillYou get into the habit of thinking that certain things are reserved for big events in life, and then suddenly you're reminded that there are microcosms in day-to-day life.
Right now I'm coming out of shock. Well, maybe not entirely; I think I may still be in shock. It comes and goes. Sometimes I'm cold, sometimes I'm wobbly, sometimes I'm not. I think I'll need a good cry later. Emotional fragility -- well, I didn't have it earlier, but I think it was because I was kind of numb. So that makes sense. If you're getting the feeling that I'm verbally patting myself down just to re-orient myself, you're right. I babble a lot when I'm like this.
The funny thing is that it wasn't a big deal. At least I didn't think so at the time. Yes, it sucked... I was reaching up to put the tinsnips back on the shop wall, when the steel milk crate we use as a stepstool decided my center of balance had shifted too much, and it dumped me sideways. To the right and down, right onto the massive lathe I was leaning over. If I had been wearing a belt, the tool holder would have caught me by it and I would have ended up with my feet dangling, but as it was, it just took the button off my pants, ripped my shirt, and left me with some abrasions which are pretty impressive even by my standards. My right leg is now a little shorter than the left, but I suspect I'll be able to correct that by uncompressing my ankle... my knee behaved itself beautifully, and didn't dislocate or do anything much other than mutter some swear words in my direction. My hip hasn't complained. It was all over very quickly.
Something about the injury made it impossible to catch my breath for a good twenty minutes, though. Impact to my internal organs? Maybe. That was around 4:30, and though I went on to finish what I was doing, I've been shaky since. And, as I realized a few minutes ago, exhibiting the classic signs of shock. At least I got the "sit quietly" part of recovery down, as Greg and I watched Doctor Who for about an hour and a half around dinner. Now he's gone, and I've made myself some tea. I have an enormous craving for sweets...
It's not the first time I've been in shock. It may be the first time I recognized it while it's happening. I certainly would not have expected it based on the injury itself -- I have a bruise on my hand from a sledgehammer which has been just as physically damaging, and I weathered that with resignation. I also wouldn't have expected it to affect me hours later. But I guess sometimes it's not the scale of the experience, it's how the body decides to respond to it. Self-care is sometimes more important for the little things than it is for the big things, objectively speaking -- because it's never an objective experience.
I'm taking the rest of the night off. And shopping for proper stepstools.
Right now I'm coming out of shock. Well, maybe not entirely; I think I may still be in shock. It comes and goes. Sometimes I'm cold, sometimes I'm wobbly, sometimes I'm not. I think I'll need a good cry later. Emotional fragility -- well, I didn't have it earlier, but I think it was because I was kind of numb. So that makes sense. If you're getting the feeling that I'm verbally patting myself down just to re-orient myself, you're right. I babble a lot when I'm like this.
The funny thing is that it wasn't a big deal. At least I didn't think so at the time. Yes, it sucked... I was reaching up to put the tinsnips back on the shop wall, when the steel milk crate we use as a stepstool decided my center of balance had shifted too much, and it dumped me sideways. To the right and down, right onto the massive lathe I was leaning over. If I had been wearing a belt, the tool holder would have caught me by it and I would have ended up with my feet dangling, but as it was, it just took the button off my pants, ripped my shirt, and left me with some abrasions which are pretty impressive even by my standards. My right leg is now a little shorter than the left, but I suspect I'll be able to correct that by uncompressing my ankle... my knee behaved itself beautifully, and didn't dislocate or do anything much other than mutter some swear words in my direction. My hip hasn't complained. It was all over very quickly.
Something about the injury made it impossible to catch my breath for a good twenty minutes, though. Impact to my internal organs? Maybe. That was around 4:30, and though I went on to finish what I was doing, I've been shaky since. And, as I realized a few minutes ago, exhibiting the classic signs of shock. At least I got the "sit quietly" part of recovery down, as Greg and I watched Doctor Who for about an hour and a half around dinner. Now he's gone, and I've made myself some tea. I have an enormous craving for sweets...
It's not the first time I've been in shock. It may be the first time I recognized it while it's happening. I certainly would not have expected it based on the injury itself -- I have a bruise on my hand from a sledgehammer which has been just as physically damaging, and I weathered that with resignation. I also wouldn't have expected it to affect me hours later. But I guess sometimes it's not the scale of the experience, it's how the body decides to respond to it. Self-care is sometimes more important for the little things than it is for the big things, objectively speaking -- because it's never an objective experience.
I'm taking the rest of the night off. And shopping for proper stepstools.
