Dealing with people

[torquill]

I've discovered that making self-worth an inherent and fixed quality has made it easier to examine and dismiss my habitual prejudices. It's a lot easier to see strangers as real people, even if they're of a different skin color, or fat, or dressed shabbily, or seem to be acting like idiots. They're all human beings just like me, deserving of respect and dignity... and when that sinks in, the snap judgments in the back of my brain become way less relevant. I'm still a product of my culture, but over time I might be able to think my way out of that if I can just hang on to this one basic concept.

I've been trying to open up more, to smile more, to be friendlier, to treat strangers like people. I do find, however, that it's harder to do it when I'm alone in a public place and the person in question is an average adult male (of any class or skin color). That's not prejudice, that's caution -- and while I've never been nearly as much of a target of harassment as some of my female friends, I can't deny that major factors in that difference have been a lack of exposure and a scary demeanor. If I'm out in the world more and affecting a more approachable attitude, I have to expect that I'll get some unwelcome attention. Especially if my attractiveness goes up by the end of all this, which I sort of suspect will happen.

I have the training to deal with the potential physical repercussions, but I'm rusty on the non-physical tactics, and I don't have much experience. I'm going to have to give some thought to how I want to handle those situations when they come up, so that I know where I want to go mentally and emotionally. A bit of preparation will help me cope better. And if I have a plan for when things get uncomfortable, I'll be able to relax and smile at the 19 men out of 20 who are just good people.

Comments

[akienm]

Exactly so.