Little bits and pieces
Apr. 16th, 2019 23:46![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
torquillFood for thought:
A friend posted a meme: "Smiling in photos is for neurotypicals". My reaction: heh. heheh. ah... hmm. It suddenly struck me how artificial it feels to smile in group photos, and how I rarely do so in selfies.
I have trouble meeting people's eyes. It makes me uncomfortable, unless I'm very close to them emotionally.
I've been registering sensory overload more: lights, especially flashing ones; sounds; occasionally tactile input, like the little nubbles on the purl side of hand-knit socks.
I just took a "highly sensitive" test. Reading through the items, I read "I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation" and thought "...you know, that would probably be a good idea on some days." I scored a 15 (14 was the threshold).
I get irritable when too many things are going on at once. I get particularly cranky in loud, chaotic environments full of people. I have to leave and find a quiet, dark place, preferably with cool air.
I don't think I'm truly "autistic", though to be perfectly honest, my aptitude for social interaction might be a combination of unusually high empathy and reading people as a survival skill. I definitely seem to have well-developed executive function, which is often lacking in people on the spectrum. But again, I wonder whether that's boosted by very effective coping skills. I know that I used to zone out and daydream a lot as a kid, sometimes for hours, and my inner life seemed much richer than the outside world. I really disliked being pulled out of it to do schoolwork or chores.
I'm not really sure how much it matters, except to help with recognizing and accepting my oddities (such as not smiling in photos), which would make me more comfortable in my skin. And maybe that's the point.
A friend posted a meme: "Smiling in photos is for neurotypicals". My reaction: heh. heheh. ah... hmm. It suddenly struck me how artificial it feels to smile in group photos, and how I rarely do so in selfies.
I have trouble meeting people's eyes. It makes me uncomfortable, unless I'm very close to them emotionally.
I've been registering sensory overload more: lights, especially flashing ones; sounds; occasionally tactile input, like the little nubbles on the purl side of hand-knit socks.
I just took a "highly sensitive" test. Reading through the items, I read "I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days,into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation" and thought "...you know, that would probably be a good idea on some days." I scored a 15 (14 was the threshold).
I get irritable when too many things are going on at once. I get particularly cranky in loud, chaotic environments full of people. I have to leave and find a quiet, dark place, preferably with cool air.
I don't think I'm truly "autistic", though to be perfectly honest, my aptitude for social interaction might be a combination of unusually high empathy and reading people as a survival skill. I definitely seem to have well-developed executive function, which is often lacking in people on the spectrum. But again, I wonder whether that's boosted by very effective coping skills. I know that I used to zone out and daydream a lot as a kid, sometimes for hours, and my inner life seemed much richer than the outside world. I really disliked being pulled out of it to do schoolwork or chores.
I'm not really sure how much it matters, except to help with recognizing and accepting my oddities (such as not smiling in photos), which would make me more comfortable in my skin. And maybe that's the point.
