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Traveling first-class
Oct. 17th, 2015 12:31"Happiness is a state of mind" has always been a useless phrase to me. If I could think myself happy, I would have done so a long time ago. "Happiness is not a destination, it's a way of traveling" struck me as a little better -- except it offers no way to learn how to travel that way.
I think that for me, it's been both a destination and a way of traveling. It's a place I sit in no matter where I'm going. When you're in a comfy seat on a train, you're sitting still, even as you travel. It's like that.
It's something I settle into. It takes not being in a state of stress or crisis, which is all too common. It takes removing all of the sharp pointy objects that make themselves known as soon as I start to ease into it. That's the self-dissatisfaction, the internal conflict, the bad memories. All of those things are barriers to real happiness -- it's hard to be content when you're being stabbed with knives all the time.
Dealing with those was difficult and painful, but it's brought peace. And with peace, as inevitable as the tide, came happiness. Not happiness about any particular thing, but happiness about everything. I still have rough patches, I still have bad days, I still get irritable and frustrated and wonder whether it's all worth it.
But then, at the end of the day, I deal with the things I can change and shelve the things that I can't fix right now, and I take a deep breath, and I settle into my happiness again.
I think that for me, it's been both a destination and a way of traveling. It's a place I sit in no matter where I'm going. When you're in a comfy seat on a train, you're sitting still, even as you travel. It's like that.
It's something I settle into. It takes not being in a state of stress or crisis, which is all too common. It takes removing all of the sharp pointy objects that make themselves known as soon as I start to ease into it. That's the self-dissatisfaction, the internal conflict, the bad memories. All of those things are barriers to real happiness -- it's hard to be content when you're being stabbed with knives all the time.
Dealing with those was difficult and painful, but it's brought peace. And with peace, as inevitable as the tide, came happiness. Not happiness about any particular thing, but happiness about everything. I still have rough patches, I still have bad days, I still get irritable and frustrated and wonder whether it's all worth it.
But then, at the end of the day, I deal with the things I can change and shelve the things that I can't fix right now, and I take a deep breath, and I settle into my happiness again.
