Airspeed velocities of unladen swallows

[torquill]

What are the distinctions between affection, love, and lust?

This is not a rhetorical question... If you think you have some insights, please share. What are the differences? Is it a matter of degree, a matter of focus, what? Where do the sparks come in, and what happens when they settle down?

How can you tell the difference between fondness for an old friend and the calm warmth of a settled relationship? Between infatuation, lust, and new love? Is it possible to, from the inside or even from the outside?

Comments

[our-meg.livejournal.com]

Very intriguing question.

For me, the boundry between affection and love blurs. I love my close friends and I have affection for them. I don't like to see any of them in pain and I enjoy seeing them happy (especially if I had a hand in it, I guess I'm selfish like that :P)

The areas where affection and love differ is the closeness I'm willing to go. If I am affectionate towards someone, I will do my best to remember their birthday, give them hugs and dry their tears, pummel verbally (or physically) anyone who causes them pain and laugh with them through their happiest moments. However, I am far more willing to let them deal with an issue on their lonesome if they have stuck their foot in the mire and yelled at me for letting them. I love my friends, but if they're stupid, I can only help so much, especially when blame is displaced.

For love, even when they go and do something that foolish, I will still help them out of their mire, wrap them in a blanket and hand them a mug of tea. I stay with them, no matter how much I am infuriated at times. I think the line out of Kama Sutra (the movie, don't laugh) had one of the better definitions of the twisted side of love:

King: You must hate me.
Tara: No, I don't love you enough to hate you.

Lust, on the other hand, is a completely different animal. One can lust without love and love without lust. Lust is a completely physical reaction where you don't care if the person is good, bad, rich, poor, or even able to read and write, you just want them!

I've experienced lust without love. I didn't know it at the time, but once I realized what a twit he was, I realized there was no love and I was just after the body. Fortunately, once that set it, the lust fizzled out and I was bettah off.